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Leaving Room for Miracles

Friday, January 2, 2015

During the first week of January 2014, I started grad school. The decision to go to nurse practitioner school was one that came from four years of trying to decipher if the program was "worth the money" and if advanced practice nursing was really where my heart was. Neither of these questions were fully answered before I found myself knee deep in class and clinical, with three of five semesters done by December.

Meanwhile, my wonderful boyfriend and I paddled out to the middle of the Tidal Basin one August day for an innocent outing on America's pond. The next thing I know, he's holding a diamond ring, I'm crying, and we are living one of the happiest days of our lives.

These two life events, school and wedding planning, have been exciting but busy. Throwing them on to an (almost) full-time work schedule was my crazy idea. Over Thanksgiving break, I broke out with a fever that lasted seven days. SEVEN days. Now, I am no stranger to febrile illnesses, but this one was particularly draining, as I was working to finish final papers in between headaches, coughing fits, and doses of Tylenol.

Somewhere around Day 5 of this fever, the combination of being sick and studying was too much. I cried big, wet, emo tears all over the place. Despite the amazing things I had going on, I felt incredibly empty. I felt weighted by the anxiety of trying to fit all of these pieces into my life. I realized that, for the last five months, I had put on a smile and jokingly told those around me about my "first world problems." On the inside, I felt consumed with guilt for being stressed out about all of the things I was doing.

In that moment, I realized that I could not do it all. In fact, I could not do anything at that point because I was contagious. After taking a break, I realized that in my effort to do it all, I forgot to leave room for the little miracles and joys that each day brings. Like sunrises. (Okay, well, we all know I never really get up in time for that miracle.) But other joys, like living in my favorite city, spending quality time with my loved ones, traveling to cool places (Guatemala!), and just being.

My 2014 was exciting, busy, adventurous, and life-changing. I am thankful everyday for God, my family, Jeremy, and my friends.  I am generally a sucker for New Year's resolutions, but this year I decided not to make any. Instead, I am choosing to enjoy each day's gifts, rather than burying them in anxiety and guilt.

Doughnuts

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Hellers Bakery in my mouth. Saturday morning being local and hipster at the farmer's market
with Alyssa.

Late Summer Fun

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

No one knows why all my recent photos wanted to be black and white. We're just going with it. This post gets us caught up to present day, where I find myself browsing on wedding blogs instead of doing homework. I have had the last couple of days off to get my head back in the game, catch up on lectures, and just be.

Jeremy and I take a long weekend trip to Williamsburg for some coaster riding
and historical reenacting.

Brother came to visit, and we went to Abe Lincoln's cottage!

Alyssa is back in town, people. Nats game.

Jenny comes to DC. We are juice fasting in this photo. We wanted to go five days, but
only lasted 24 hours!

Stormy walk-jogs to the 8th Wonder of the World.

My first time standing up on the paddle board. Scared for life.

A weekend with Mom and Sister in an undisclosed location. So fun, relaxing, and renewing.

Engaged

This is my favorite pic from the night we got engaged, August 15th, 2014. It's an accurate view of what your heart feel like when you best friend whips out a beautiful ring on the Tidal Basin and asks to marry you.


My Mundo Lately

Oh. My. Two months have passed since I last posted. That is a long time. So much has happened between now and July 3rd. I finished my second semester of school, survived my first clinical rotation, celebrated some really fun weddings, and got engaged. Faithful readers, you already know all of these things because you are mostly my real life friends. Yet, maybe it's the scrapbooker in me, but it feels important to mark these things on the old blog. Here are some photos from the summer.

Sarah comes to DC.

The family at Brent and Bri's wedding.

Team Etzel-Lowe.

Little Cousin Alex marries Beautiful Kelsey.

Mommy accidentally ruins the interior of the Pabst mansion.

Lovers and friends 'till the end.

MFS/Nans/Stephanie's wedding with great friends.

We laughed all dinner long.